Not Your Kind of People

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See also: Phantom Dawn Online

Not Your Kind of People
Author	Ned Edgewalker
Illustrator	N/A
Publication date	January 26, 2016
Published by	Cutting Edge Productions
Publication Order
Preceded by N/A	Followed by N/A

Characters

• Ned Edgewalker
• Lithium
• Richard Cannonwalker
• Zoomer
• Samuel Darkwalker
• Slappy
• Odessa Conway

Prologue

In the latter part of my life, so far, most of my contact with other human beings in my life has been online. I don’t have to be stressed about meeting new people. Online, I am confident. I am strong. I’m not afraid to stand up for what I believe in. Unfortunately, like many others who feel this way online, this does not represent who I am in the real world. I am an introvert who has found a home in this world online. We live our lives online. We come from differing walks of life, all to unite under the banner of gaming. We are a family of sorts, although we’ve never even seen each other’s faces. That changes today.

With the advent of virtual reality that has gotten more realistic by the day, the new Oculus Wave, a successor to the Oculus Rift, launches today. The console uses high-density microwave transceivers that are capable of accessing the user's brain, allowing it to send fake signals to the five senses of the user. The transceivers are not only capable of inducing fake sensory signals but can also block every movement command from the brain to the body, preventing the user from moving their body, which is done to prevent injury. The transceivers are also capable of blocking sensory information from the body to the brain, thus, while using it, the user is completely insensate to the physical world.

This is the other life that many of us have wanted for a long time. Finally, a true escape. Launching with the Oculus Wave is the new MMORPG that will allow my friends and me to finally have a MMORPG that we can all connect on, for the first time since our beloved Pirates Online closed 12 years ago. Phantom Dawn Online. It doesn’t matter where you’re from. It doesn’t matter who you are as a person outside of this little paradise we call the internet. The one thing all of us wikians have in common is this: we’re all a bunch of kids escaping something undesirable in our lives. It doesn’t matter what that thing is, every one of us has something. Be it as simple as something as school, or some more complicated things like depression or loneliness. We all have something to escape, and we do it together. If you’re reading this and don’t at least understand the principle of what I'm saying, I guess you could say we’re not your kind of people.

“Today the highly anticipated VR-MMORPG, Phantom Dawn Online, launches with the Oculus Wave. Phantom Dawn Online alone is expected to garner around 100,000 players on the first day. In other gaming news, yet another Call of Duty instalment has been announced, this time boasting brand new, ‘ground-breaking’ dog technology.”

Early in the morning of September 30th, 2025, Ned, Richard, Lithium and Zoomer were all in GFW chat to talk about the release of Phantom Dawn Online. Most users on the GFW had pre-ordered the game and would be getting it later in the day. Richard was not one of them.

“So you mean, I can’t type or anything like that in the game? Like, it has to be voice chat or nothing at all?” Richard said. “Have you not read anything on the Oculus Wave or PDO? You don’t exactly get a keyboard to type on.” Zoomer said. “It’s not as if I'd be getting the game for anything other than to play with you guys,” Richard said. “You want to play with us?" Ned said sarcastically.

“Piss off, Ned. I’m trying to make a serious decision here.”

“Hey, I’m just trying to lighten the mood. Besides the point, why are you so hesitant to voice chat?”

“NOBODY SHALL HEAR MY VOIIIIIIICE!”

“I think we’ve gotten that, Nults. You’ve only been saying it for the past 10 years.” Lithium said. “You know I have difficulty hearing,” Richard said. “Nults, please. Again, have you even read up on the oculus wave?” Zoomer said.

“But my hearing disabilities pls”

“No.”

“Fine. What if I have hearing issues actually inside the game and I die because I don’t hear you scrubs yelling at me?”

“I didn’t think that was an issue…”

“WELL IT COULD BE THX”

“LADIES LADIES PLEASE! YOU ARE BOTH APPALLINGLY UGLY, NOW STOP ARGUING OVER WHO GETS THE NEW PURSE!” Lithium said. “We’re not arguing, though.” Zoomer said.

“YES YOU ARRRRE”

“No, we’re not.”

“excuse me did i say it was up to you? no i did not so go away thanks”

“no”

“yes”

“no”

“YES PLEASE” Ned said.

“Nults, I don’t really care if you get it or not, but please make up your mind so that these two stop bickering over useless subjects?” Ned said. Chat remained silent for a few minutes. “I’m not getting the game. I just can’t play it if there’s no typing.” Richard said. “Is that really the reason you’re going with?” Lithium said.

“Seems good enough to me.”

“But it’s not pls” Ned said. “Yes it is pls” Richard said.

“Can you not elaborate?”

“I could, I just don’t want to.”

“Why?”

“Cuz.”

“Cuz y?”

“I JUST DON’T WANT TO DAMMIT!”

“Okay. Fine. Don’t elaborate. I get where you’re coming from. Maybe.”

Just then, Sam entered the chat. “Ned plz.” Sam immediately said upon entering the chat. “Sam no. you weren’t even here” Zoomer said. “excuze me i m trying to be funy.” Sam said. “*excuse *funny” Richard said.

“I was going to correct myself plz.”

“Yeah, sure. Do you even know what we’re talking about?”

“Yes plz. You were talking about PDO. I just got back from picking it up kthx.”

“Then why are you here?” Ned said. Sam then left chat.

“Well then. I’m gonna go pick up the game now because i’d rather not wait any longer. I will see all of you (excluding mr. nults) on PDO later. K bye.”

Meanwhile, in chat, the others got a visit. A visit, from one of the most polarising figures in wiki history. Slappy. As usual upon entering chat for the first time every few months, Slappy was greeted with open arms. When playing games with wikians, Slappy would often be the most unpredictable player, doing whatever it took for personal gain. At this point, it had been 2 years since Slappy last appeared on the wiki.

“Slappy! Long time no see!” Lithium said. “Lith, I’m here for you. PM.” Slappy said. “Well hello to you too Slappy.” Richard said.

“Yeah, hi.”

Slappy and Lith got into PM.

“We need to talk.” Slappy said.

“I kind of gathered that.” Lithium said.

“So, judging from everything happening around here, I assume most of you here are getting PDO.”

“You’ve been watching us?”

“Always have been. Don’t you people check the ListUsers thing?”

“Can you not just get to the point?”

“Fine. I want you as my second command in my guild.”

“I can’t. I already have arrangements with the more, uh, active wikians.”

“Pearson’s gonna be there.”

“The fuck do I care?”

“Our guild is gonna be named ‘Straight Outta Duluth’. It’ll be beautiful.” Slappy said. 

“As much as I love coming out of that particular Minnesotan town, I think I'll pass. Is that seriously gonna be the name?” Lithium said.

“No.” “And to think, you almost swayed me.”

“I did?”

“No. I’m gonna go pick up the game now and meet up with the others. I’ll be seeing you in there, I assume?”

“Yes, you will be.”

“See you out there then.”

“Oh, yes you will.”

Chapter 1 - Immortalized

“Hello! Welcome to IGN News! Today is Tuesday, September 30th, 2025! Today is a huge day in gaming history, as the Oculus Wave was finally released after years of anticipation. The system is the first ‘true’, fully immersive virtual reality console, taking control of the users’ nerves and brainwaves to put the body into a state of paralysis known as REM atonia, a normal part of the sleeping stage. This essentially allows users to use their entire bodies as a controller. High-density microwave transceivers are capable of accessing the user's brain, allowing it to send fake signals to the five senses of the user, immersing the user in a near real-world experience. Launching with the console is the also highly anticipated Phantom Dawn Online. Initial reports suggested that 100,000 players would be playing on launch day, although sales have come in and over 1,500,000 people have purchased the game so far, with an estimated 850,000 logging onto the game since servers went up 3 hours ago. Now, moving on in gaming news, Star Wars Battlefront EA 2025 is reported to be based entirely on micro-transactions, with the game itself being purchasable only via a micro-transaction from Star Wars Battlefront EA 2024.”

Richard listened to the report that was blaring through Gamestop. He had been waiting in the store, with his copy of PDO in hand for nearly an hour and a half, yet he was still only halfway through the lineup. The same tired thought kept repeating in his head. “This is a mistake. Why am I doing this?” He eventually let the thoughts get to him, and tried to leave by walking ahead of the line. He was shoved back into place by a 10-year-old girl waiting in line. She looked at him and blatantly said “You’re not getting ahead of me you little-“ before being put back into place by her mother, who then scolded Richard herself. Richard sighed and remained in the lineup, saying to himself “I’d smack a basic white girl if there weren't 25,000 people here.”

Meanwhile, Lithium had just gotten home with his copy of the game and the console. He sat down at his desk and plugged the Oculus Wave into his computer to begin the initial setup. Lith put the helmet-like device on and pushed the power button. “Hello! Welcome to the Oculus Wave. Please wait while we install the day 1 update for the Oculus Wave.” A woman said. Only 32 seconds later, the installation was finished. “Would you like to insert a game disc or go to the main menu?” She said. Lith opened the case for PDO and inserted it into his computer. “Phantom Dawn Online disc inserted. It is highly recommended to get into a comfortable position before starting the game. Once you are ready, close your eyes and say aloud: ‘Start Phantom Dawn Online’.” The woman said. Lith went and quickly grabbed a pillow and got comfortable.

He turned off the lights and closed his curtains, then proceeded to put the helmet back on. “Start Phantom Dawn Online.” Lithium said. “Starting. You may feel paralysed for a brief moment, please do not panic.” The woman said. Everything went black for 10 seconds. The game opened with character customization. Lith made his character a black-clothed rogue who’s adept at throwing knives and a knowledge of the occult. After finishing up his design, he entered the game.

“Will you step towards greatness, or will you leap? Only time will tell, ‘Lithium’. Welcome to Phantom Dawn Online.” The woman from before said. Lith spawned in Kiziba, and the game was bursting with atmosphere. It was something that Lith had never seen before. He had such a feeling of euphoria entering this world that was bursting with all these different colours, buildings, things to do and people to meet. Only a minute after he joined, there was a worldwide announcement that everybody was teleported to in the heart of Kiziba.

"Hello, players! Thank you for purchasing Phantom Dawn Online! My name is James Edgebreaker the creator and lead producer of PDO. I hope you've enjoyed the game so far, and you will be teleported back to the spot you were at once this has concluded. The major announcement here is that the inaugural Battle of Blades will be taking place today, and the winners will have to be prepared to defend their title weekly. You can sign up right here, in the heart of Kiziba either for the solo player's tournament or as a group of 2, 3 or 4. Thank you for purchasing the game, I hope you continue to enjoy it." James Edgebreaker said. Lith was then teleported back and decided to head into the wilderness to begin grinding.

A few hours later, Zoomer had just booted up the game for the first time. He began designing his character. He designed himself as a tall, entirely black-clothed, wearing shorts opposed to pants due to the fact that ‘pants are gay’ according to himself. He entered the game and his attention was immediately drawn to a giant holographic screen that was broadcasting exhibition rounds of the Battle of Blades. Everybody had their eye on a player who was highly touted even before the release of PDO, for his skills on other MMO’s featuring swordplay. Her name was Odessa Conway, and she lived up to the hype, to say the least. Her movements were extremely precise, and if she hit you it was game over, something that occurred often. She made quick work of her latest opponent, striking him swiftly in the stomach and bringing the blade upwards slicing the man in half, similar to something you’d see in the fighting game Mortal Kombat. And then, her match was over. Zoomer saw her respawn and walk out of the arena where she got great applause before heading towards the wilderness. Zoomer decided to follow.

Zoomer proceeded to follow her into the wilderness, and eventually, she became aware of him, so she stopped up at one of the camps in the wilderness, waited for a few moments, spotted where he was hiding and proceeded to shoot at him with her pistol. She finally hit him and rid herself of the stalker, until she was tapped on the shoulder from behind by Zoomer who proceeded to simply say “Hello” in a very arrogant tone.

“Are you a bag of garbage? Because I'd like to take you out.” Zoomer said. Odessa pulled out her dagger and tried to stab him multiple times, but Zoomer dodged every attempt. “I like you. You and I would be great for each other, especially if you started wearing some better clothing. What are you even wearing right now? Not revealing anything, covering up your hair, I can only see your eyes. You aren’t in ISIS are you?” She scoffed at Zoomer and shot him point blank in the stomach with her pistol, then began to walk away.

Zoomer quickly took a health potion and said “Damn girl, playing hard to get I see. Come back here!” before chasing after her.

Meanwhile, Lithium was nearby grinding for XP in preparation for the tournament and heard a gunshot, and decided to investigate. Unbeknownst to him, he found Zoomer beginning to chase after Odessa, and Lith decided to pursue them both. He used sneaking skills to his advantage, taking to the trees for extra speed. He got ahead of Zoomer, and when the time was right, he dropped down onto him. The two stared at each other for a moment.

“Zoomer?” Lith said. “Lith?” Zoomer said. “Can’t you let a man have some fun? I get that you're a 30-year-old homosexual but come on, there’s no reason to be a cockblocker.” Lithium sighed and got off of Zoomer, grabbing him from behind before he could run away. “Care to explain what the hell you were doing?” Lith said with a dagger to Zoomer’s back. “I already told you, I was having some fun with that girl who’s apparently in ISIS.” Zoomer said

“Yeah, well if I catch you ‘having fun’ again, it’ll be the last time.” Lithium said, whilst walking away. “Are you gonna be in the Battle of Blades?” Zoomer said.

“Yes, and you better not be in my tournament bracket. Because if I face you, you’re not gonna be going any further in the tournament. Good luck, friend.” He said, walking away into the darkness.

Now, it was Richard’s turn. He booted up the game for the first time and began designing his character. He designed himself nearly identical to his old Minecraft skin, from nearly 10 years ago. His character had above-average wilderness survival skills, decent close-quarters-combat skills and he was an expert in setting traps. He spawned in the game, all the while thinking “this better be fucking worth it.” The first thing he wanted to do was locate another wikian, so he tried to do that. He began looking around Kiziba for a familiar name, a recognisable face. He stopped at a weapons store, as a sword in the window caught his attention. While he was looking at the sword, he was tapped on the back and greeted with an ominous voice saying “Hello, Richard.” He turned around and was smacked in the face by Slappy, who then burst out in laughter. “You gave me a heart attack you fucking asshole!” Richard yelled. Slappy, who was still laughing, said “Oh, brighten up won’t you?”

“Have you seen any other wikians around?”

“Nope. There was a guy dressed similarly to what the KKK wears. Could’ve been G-man.”

“Okay, sure.” Richard said sarcastically. “Have you seen Ned?”

“Potentially, there was a bumbling retard dressed in nothing but underpants, wandering around drooling all over the place. The diversity in this game is top notch.” Slappy said. Richard chuckled.

A girl came up behind Slappy and pushed him out of the way, then pushing Richard out of the way. “HEY! ARE YOU THAT BASIC WHITE GIRL WHO PUSHED ME IN GAMESTOP!?” Richard yelled. “Excuse you?” Odessa said, turning and looking at Richard like he had just committed murder. “Nevermind.” He said. She brushed it off and walked into the store.

Slappy laughed. “The hell was that?” Slappy said. “Can we just get out of here?” Richard said. “Yes, I have to go signup for the tournament anyways. Maybe we can do teams together.”

“But I'm only a level 1…”

“Good for you. Now let's go.”

Chapter 2 - Preparation and Execution

Slappy and Richard made their way to the sign-up area, with only 1 hour remaining in the sign-up time before team matches began. When they arrived, they both got in line to begin signing up. “What should we call our team?” Richard said. “The Wikians?” Slappy said. “No. Go back to 2014 with your terrible name ideas.” “Darkhart?”

“2015.”

“Fine. What ideas do you have?”

“The New Brood.”

“You do not just tell me to go back to 2014 and throw a name at me from 2009.”

Richard sighed. They got to the signup booth, where there was a small device that looked similar to an iPad where the duo had to enter their information and team name. Richard entered all of his information and moved out of the way to let Slappy do the same. While Slappy was entering his information, he heard something familiar amongst all of the people.

“DAMMIT NO! WE’RE NOT CALLING OURSELVES THE UGLY POTATOES! FUCK THIS, I’M GOING TO DO THIS BY MYSELF!” Richard heard someone yell. He looked around and saw a Mexican sniper angrily walking out of the arena. Slappy moved heard the commotion and walked away from the tablet to go look, meanwhile, Richard went up to the tablet, entered the team name “Cancer on Wheels” and hit enter. The information processed and became official, giving both Richard and Slappy a notification.

“You have successfully created the 2-man team ‘Cancer on Wheels’. 45 minutes until exhibition rounds.” The notification said. Slappy turned to Richard and gave him a sarcastic thumbs up before turning and walking away to go prepare for the exhibition rounds. Richard followed behind. “What now?” Richard asked. “We’re gonna get you a suitable weapon and train. We have 45 minutes to make you an adequate fighter.” Slappy said.

Richard sighed and simply followed along. They made it to the weapons shop they were at earlier and walked inside. There were a number of interesting blades on the wall around the shop, along with sidearms. Slappy handed Richard a pouch containing 1000 coins for him to spend on a sword and sidearm. He walked up to the salesman and bought a rusty sword and a flintlock pistol.

“Brings back memories.” Richard said. “It’s been like twelve years. Let it go.” Slappy said. The two headed to a large open field located to the south, just outside of Kiziba. From here, Kiziba had a beautiful skyline that rivalled the likes of real world cities like Vancouver, New York or even Seattle. “A breathtaking view is it not?” Slappy said. Richard nodded his head. The two lined up and began practising. Slappy taught Richard advanced movements and how to use his pistol in appropriate situations. With 15 minutes left to prepare, Slappy began teaching Richard a risky, but a game-winning play only to be used in dire situations.

“How do you know so much about this game already?” Richard asked. “Let’s not talk about that for now. Get ready.” Slappy said. He spawned in a training dummy. “Stand behind the dummy, but not too close. Get your sword placed sort of behind his back.” Slappy said. Slappy charged the dummy with his pistol out and performed a flying dragon kick to the dummy’s chest, lunging Richard’s sword into the back. Whilst in the air, Slappy shot the dummy in the head. The move creates enough all-around damage to instantly kill the person without the chance to be revived.

“That was… Impressive, I guess.” Richard said. Slappy sighed and began walking back into the city. Richard followed behind. “What now?” Richard asked. “What do you think is gonna happen now? We go to the arena and wait for the timer to run out. Then we go into battle and walk out with a victory. It’s that simple.”

Meanwhile, Lithium was at the arena preparing for the task at hand. Although it was just an exhibition match, he wanted to give notice that he was going to go far in the tournament. As the timer hit 3 minutes in the countdown, he was notified who his opponent would be. It was Zoomer. Sitting across the arena from Lith, Zoomer also got the notification and sighed. As the clock counted down, the two prepared mentally to face each other and tried to work out in their heads each other’s battle strategy.

“Two minutes remain.” A female announcer said throughout the arena. Odessa was preparing for what she assumed to be easy pickings, against a seemingly unskilled opponent named Samuel Darkwalker. From what she could gather by looking at his profile, he was attempting to be a sniper in a sword-based game, which could bring a challenge like no other. It could also mean a relatively easy matchup if he didn’t know what he was doing.

“One minute remaining.” The female announcer said. Richard and Slappy were going up against a team named “American Racoons” which consisted of two players wearing clothes completely dyed with the American flag. Slappy laughed about it upon seeing the name and their outfits.

The timer ran out. “Hello, players! Welcome to the inaugural Battle of Blades! This is the beginning of the exhibition round. All matches that take place in this round will not count towards placement in tournament brackets or final score. All players will now be teleported to a waiting area where they will stand face to face with their opponent for one minute before their battle begins.” The voice said. They were all transported to a black room with nothing but a blue platform to stand on and a timer with the match info listed on both sides.

Lith and Zoomer stood on the platform and stared at each other. “Hello, father.” Zoomer said. Lith sighed. “Go back to 2016.” Lith said. “Just trying to lighten the mood.” Zoomer said. “Well don’t. I didn’t want to face you and I still don’t. I’m not holding anything back out there, this is my game to win.” Lith said in a seemingly angry tone. “I wouldn’t want it any other way.” Zoomer responded.

With 30 seconds remaining on the countdown, Odessa kept staring at Sam, who was awkwardly talking about how he moved to the Netherlands when he was 21 and that it was his life dream to become a dutch politician and become Noble Leader Sam in real life. She just stayed silent and tried to remain composed, because this could’ve been a tactic to get her off of her game. With 10 seconds remaining, there was nothing left to prepare. Richard and Slappy had gone over every situation. The two had decided they were going to split up at the beginning and try to flank both players somewhere in the middle of the map.

The players wished each other good luck and spawned on opposite sides of the map. For Lith v. Zoomer, the map was generated as a tundra that made it hard to see, as the weather effects weren’t so kind and got set to stormy. For Odessa v. Sam, the map generated was a jungle, giving Odessa a clear advantage due to the low visibility. For Cancer on Wheels v. American Raccoons, the map generated was in a plains area giving high visibility to both teams, making it hard to execute the pre-planned move that Richard and Slappy had come up, leaving them no choice but to improvise and hope for the best.

Chapter 3 - The Battle of Blades

After spawning in, Odessa ran to find high ground to scope out her surroundings and try to find where her opponent was. She had a rare skill in the game that enabled her to detect living organisms from up to three kilometres away. She grabbed her binoculars and scanned the area for Sam, who had snuck around discovering her looking through her binoculars. He pulled out his dagger and slowly approached her from behind, grabbed her by the back of her clothing, and in one swift motion, she spun around and he got his head cut off, promptly losing the match. After he spawned in the main building, which was mostly empty, he yelled out of anger and sat down in a corner.

Meanwhile, the instant Richard and Slappy spawned in, Slappy grabbed Richard and said “We need to be direct about this, It’s that simple. We have to take them out quick.” The two rushed into the middle of the field and went head-to-head with the other two combatants, who were then discovered to be dressed in costumes supporting President Lincoln Chafee, who was in his third term after defeating Donald Drumpf in 2016.

Richard and Slappy began fighting the two combatants, using tactics that they worked on earlier. They were dominating the fight in close quarters combat, so the other team retreated using a smoke bomb and decided to take a long ranged approach to the battle. They got along the sides of Richard and Slappy and fired two sleep darts into Richard and Slappy, knocking them out for fifteen seconds. Doing this allowed the two players to do near-lethal damage to Slappy, and they killed Richard. Once Slappy woke up, he ran out of the area and tried to scope out where the other two players ran to. He found them, but by that time, it was too late for him. The two rushed Slappy and performed a maneuver in which one of them stabbed Slappy on top of the head, and the other one through the heart, killing Slappy instantly. Richard and Slappy spawned in the arena and stood in silence for a few seconds before Slappy sighed and walked away.

Meanwhile, Lith and Zoomer were in an all-out battle from the get go and were able to find each other relatively quickly despite the storm. Neither of them got a hit on each other until Zoomer kicked Lith in the groin and slashed his cheek, drawing blood. The two continued to battle until the timer hit one minute remaining. Lith slashed Zoomer’s leg, making him kneel down to grab his leg. He then kneed Zoomer in the head, thrusting his entire body back up to the point where he almost fell down. Then, Lith jumped into the air attempting to impale Zoomer from the front, but he swung his sword, making a clean cut on Lith, separating his torso from his legs, killing him and ending the fight.

Chapter 4 - Master and Mentor

Zoomer and Lith spawned in the arena next to each other. Zoomer offered his hand out to Lith. Lith shook his hand but pulled Zoomer in close and whispered into his ear “that is never, ever, going to happen again, so enjoy this.”

Lith logged off after saying this. Zoomer looked down at his feet and muttered to himself “Could’ve just congratulated me, but okay.”

Lith awoke from his virtual paralysis and let out a deep sigh. He sat up defeated, and with a feeling of regret. The message of “I overreacted” repeated inside of his head. Lith’s next two exhibition matches weren’t until the following day, and he decided he would speak to Zoomer sometime before then.

Meanwhile, a disgruntled Slappy stormed out of the arena and motion for Richard to follow. Slappy and Richard walked out of Kiziba without a single word being spoken. The two found a hilltop to sit on that was adjacent to Kiziba, as the sun was setting over the city with a bright orange glow that you could almost reach out and touch.

“I want you to lead our guild. We need stability and I don’t think this Battle of Blades is the right way to obtain it. Although, we’re not done yet.” Slappy said. “Wait, we’re making a guild?” Richard asked.

“No, you are. You have experience with guild recruiting on POTCO and TLOPO, and you’re damn good at it. And you’re a pretty good leader, too.”

“I don’t know. It’s been almost 5 years since TLOPO closed. And besides, what about you?”

“Think of me as the enforcer. I’ll make sure people respect us, and make them think twice about crossing us. They can destroy some of our houses, but I’ll burn their whole city down in retaliation. Also, I’ll accept nothing less than third in command of this guild. Do I make myself clear?”

Richard mulled over Slappy’s proposal for a few seconds before saying “Alright, I accept your conditions. You’ll be second-in-command until further notice.”. Richard and Slappy shook hands before Richard asked “So, what do we call ourselves?”

“Not Cancer on Wheels, that’s for sure.” Slappy replied.

Slappy thought for a few minutes, before proposing the name ‘The New Inquisition’. Richard agreed to this proposal as the sun set over Kiziba, and the first day of Phantom Dawn Online. Richard said goodbye to Slappy and logged off, and not long after Slappy did the same.

Meanwhile, Sam was sitting in a corner of the battle arena thinking about how he could improve his strategy for his next match. As he was staring down at the ground, he was approached by Odessa.

“You have no idea how goddamn long it took me to find you. The corner of a very large, central building that just recently had everyone respawn? Really?” Odessa said.

Odessa sighed. “My apologies.” Odessa knelt down to Sam and reached out her hand. Sam stared at her hand for a moment before shaking it. “I wanted to ask you a few questions if you don’t mind.”

Odessa sat down next to Sam. “A sniper in a sword based game? How do you manage to accomplish that?” She asked. Sam laughed.

“I’m honestly not entirely sure. It was stupid.” He said.

“No, it’s not. I honestly kind of admire it. It’s a difficult task, that’s for sure. The guns in this game are relatively ineffective and are best used to compliment swordplay unless you’re buying higher levelled weapons. The higher-tiered snipers are pretty good from what I’ve seen so far.”

Sam didn’t know how to respond. Sam looked over at Odessa. She had piercing red eyes and most of her head was covered by a hood. She was wearing a dark black and red assassin robe, somewhat similar to an outfit seen in Assassin’s Creed. She was clearly packed to the brim with armaments, but in a way that would still allow for fast movement.

“Just who are you?” Sam asked.

“I’m Odessa Conway.” She responded.

Sam had a visibly surprised look on his face when realised just who he impressed. Before he got a chance to speak, Zoomer approached the two.

“Zoomer?” 

“You’re a persistent son of a bitch, aren’t you?” 

“I’m sorry.” Zoomer said simply, before walking away.

“You know him?” Odessa said to Sam, visibly disgusted. “It’s a long story.” Sam responded.

Zoomer logged off of PDO before grabbing some food and logging onto the wiki. He found Richard, Ned, Lith, Mallace and G-man sitting in chat and decided to join them.

“I just fucking knew it was you guys! Goddamn racoons, nothing but pests smfh” Nults said upon Zoomer’s arrival.

After being greeted by everyone, Zoomer said: “So, what did all of you guys do on PDO?”. “Me and G defeated those communists Nults and Slappy for the god-emperor Lincoln Chafee. He will be proud.” Mallace said almost immediately.

“I made a guild and spent most of my time recruiting after levelling myself up some. I didn’t have much luck, though.” Ned said. “How many people did you get?” Zoomer asked. “I got about ten people.” Ned said. “Coincidentally, me and Slappy are also building a guild. We start recruiting tomorrow. If any of you guys want in, just ask.” Richard said

Lithium opened up a PM with Zoomer. “I just wanted to apologize for what I said earlier. I was a sore loser and that’s not who I am. I just have to win this.” Lith said. “It’s fine. I should also apologize for what I did earlier today. I honestly don’t know what came over me.” Zoomer said.

“What’s next for you, Zoomer?”

“I’m not sure. Maybe I’ll join up with Nults’ new guild, depending on how it is. For now, I’m focused on winning this thing.”

“You and me both.”

Lith and Zoomer both exit their PM to find Ned and Richard having a conversation about their guilds. “It’d be fun for us to do a wiki guild. You guys are more than welcome to me and Slappy’s guild, and I can promise you all a pretty good spot.”

Chapter 5 - Whatever It Takes

Coming Eventually