Let me spin ye a yarn about a Pirates Online Christmas. The Navy's taxes made some peoples holidays bad. The EITC are getting everything they want for the holidays so pirates have sunk some of their ships to steal presents. Jolly Roger dose not care for the holidays, he spends them regrouping his army. Will we ever have a normal holiday? Read and find out!
Dog Hullbones and his friends April, Johnny Sea Slasher, and Kelly Heartcutter were preparing a special holiday on Tortuga when suddenly, a citizen came to see Dog. " Captain Hullbones, bandits are robing the towns! They are not with the pirates or the navy and EITC. And since they have meat on their bones, they are certainly not undead. " Dog and his friends got right to the mission. They suspected they were EVIL agents trying to ruin the holidays. It turns out that they were just regular bandits. They clashed swords with Dog and his friends. In the end the pirates won. After the battle Kelly and April wanted to make sandmen(since there is no snow in the Caribbean) and they went off to the beaches to do so. Then Dog and Johnny decieded to decorate there houses. Then night fell so everyone went to sleep.
The next day Dog was walking along Port Royal and found a navy cadet on the ground weeping. He went up to the cadet and asked why he was weeping. The cadet replied " I was robbed by bandits 10 minutes ago and lost a treasure chest I found. They slashed my arm to. And some pirates pushed me down when I got back up and they said " That's what you get for taxing us! " It was so horrible! " Then Dog found a warm spot in his heart and took out some of his healing supplies. He helped the cadets arm heal and helped the cadet up. Then a pirate walked by and said " Why are you helping this man? He is only taxing us with the rest of his navy swine! " Dog replied " He was beaten and robbed by bandits! I already encountered bandits on Tortuga and I couldn't let him suffer. " " Well his navy friends don't diserve to live as well as him. That soldier and the rest of the navy work for the devil! " The pirate left and Dog took the soldier to his home to rest. The cadets name was William the 2ed and he had a brother called William the 3rd who was captured by undead. So Dog told him about that he used to spy on Captain Leon and his army. William said that he would never follow Leon. He also admitted that many EITC are against Leon but can't kill him becasue he is an EITC lord even though some hated him. So then Johnny came to Dogs house and saw the cadet. " Dog " he said " Can we talk in private. " Johnny asked Dog why he had a navy soldier in his home. Dog said he was beaten and robbed by bandits. After hearing the word " bandits " Johnny beckoned Dog to come with him to find the bandits on port royal.
They managed to find and kill some of them, but a cowardly one said that he was in a whole gang that had been attacking Port Royal. After some investigating Dog figured out they were being led by pirate regular Shane Mcgreeny. Shane hated that holidays and decided to steal some things with his crews he assembled. So Dog and Johnny confronted him at Royal Anchor and caught him offguard. Lucky for him, Shane had some guards. But Dog did a slash cutting to guards in half. Only two guards were left. So then Shane ran but Dog and Johnny had made short work of the other two guards. While shane ran on the beach, Dog tackled him down. Johnny took away Shanes sword, and they turned him into the navy. The guard they turned him into gave Johnny a confused look and then gave Dog and Johnny both the reward money. They decided to buy gifts with the money to give to some of their friends. Dog and Johnny split up and went shopping. Or at least Johnny did. Dog had discovered a poor man on the bridge and saw his clothes had holes in them and he had no shoes. So Dog ran to a store and used his money to buy him some clothes. So the man was thankful and left humming a Christmas toon along the way. Then Dog went home and saw that Williams arm was healing good. He had lunch with the soldier. When William was ready to leave he told Dog that he would work to lower some of the taxes during the holidays. Dog was happy that he had done something good but, he realized he spent all of the reward money on clothing for the man. So Dog got some of his other money and set off.
He brought earings for Kelly and a hat for April. Then he decided to loot some treasure from those pesky skeletons. He killed a lot of Undead Brigands and Undead Brutes around Port Royal. He got a lot of gold so he then found another warm spot in him heart. He brought gifts for many of the Port Royal citizens. Then he decided to spend his last 18 gold he got from looting the skeletons on a gift for himself. After all he wanted to be happy to. So he went to a store to get some fancy clothes and then saw a boy, about 15, enter the store. The boy went up to the man at the counter and asked if he could buy the diamond-incrested shoes. But they boy was 3 gold short. So he started crying and turned to Dog. Dog asked him why he was crying. The boy said that if he didn't get those shoes for his masters wife, then he would be beaten by his master. Dog knew slavery was wrong so he decided to find the man that tortured the boy and turn him in.
The boy directed Dog to his masters house. Dog said to the boys master " Let him go. " The master only replied with a throw of a knife. Dog dodged it and threw his knife at the mans hand. It hit his hand and the mans hand was stuck to the wall. Then the boy got 2 navy guards to arrest the slave owner. Dog gave the reward money to the boy. Then they went their separet ways.
Then the next day was Christmas eve. Dog went to Kings Arm for the Christmas party. While there he met his friends Dandandragon, Kelly Heartcutter, Johnny Sea Slasher, April, and his new friend Captain Jim Logan. Jim gave Dog a letter that was given to him by a navy cadet. It said....
Dear Dog Hullbones,
Thank you very much for helping me get better. I met with some of my superiors about the taxes. They said that they should not lower them due to pirates. So I decided to kill some undead scabheads and get a lot of money. I turned it in to the navy to pay off the rest of the taxes. They said I was wasiting my time trying to lower taxes. So I took the gold back before they could do anything with it. I had a taste of piracy by doing this and I decided to lower taxes a different way. I met a man who said you gave him fine clothes and he was a pirate. So he got his old crew members and we invaded Theives Den so that Tortuga could be more free. We stole the tax money and gave it to every citizen who paid it on Tortuga. I also met a little boy who you helped become free. I helped him find a new home and he was very happy. I now live my days as a pirate. I hope you have happy holidays!
William the 2ed
After reading the letter Dog was very happy. He had a great time at the party and was able to give his gifts to all of his friends. They sung many songs together and then went home. Dog could almost hear the whitleing of a man with new clothes. He could see the looks on everyones faces when they got their money back. Dog couldn't wait until next year!
Ye have heard the pirates side of the story but, you still need to hear how the navy and EITC spent their holidays.
William the 2ed and his partner Gregory Wolfson have just joined the navy last month in November. Things were going easy for them until the bandit gang started. Officer Peterson had sent them out on the new Navy Patrol to find the bandits. Gregory had to go on the different patrol team separating him from William. One day Gregory found some bandits with his team and attacked them. The gang was big but, Gregories was still very skilled. The navy team was doing good until someone broke the code and used a gun on a navy guard. Then both gangs were uneven. It was Gregory vs. 2 bandits. He killed one bandit but then the other one sliced his back. Greg quickly turned around and cut him in two pieces. But then Greg fell down, dead. William was sad for his parter but, refused to show his anger or sadness. His patrol was doing much better with bandits.
Then one day William was sent out on his own. Williamm was ambushed by 2 bandits. His left arm was slashed at and cut. But he did manage to kill the 2 bandits. then 1 more came and stole a treasure chest that Willaim found. William was to weak to get back up, but the bandit spared him. Then some pirates came and Will put his hand out so they could lift him up. Instead they made fun of him amd left. Then 10 minutes later, a Pirate came along called Dog Hullbones. He helped William up and then a pirate came. The pirate questioned why Dog was helping the navy cadet. William decided not to reply, so he wouldn't get himself in more trouble. Then after Dog replied the pirate said more things in his disagreement and moved on. Dog took him to his house and treated Will's wounds. They revealed their identities and then talked a little bit. Then Dog left with his friend and Will was by himself. So he decided to have a look around. He didn't really see much until he found Dog's personel treasure chest. He could't resist looking. Inside he found some Fish heads, Navy Decorations, Valuables, Odds and Ends, Cannons of the Deep items, some voodoo artifacts, Rudyards Teeth, Chess Pieces, and Rinewroths Rings. But he found a string at the bottom. He pulled it and a secret apartment opended. Inside it had a pistol. It looked like it could only shoot one bullet before it needed to be reloaded but, it could shoot three. It was labled " Dread Repeater. " So then William decided to put the gun away and get back into bed. He rested for a little and then Dog came back. After a little bit Dog looked at the injury. Then he told William to move his arm. It didn't hurt William so Dog told him he could leave. Will promised he would do something about the taxes. So when he went back to Fort Charles he tried to tell some of the officers about the taxes. " It's the holidays my officers, I think we should lower some of the taxes on items. " " No! " said captain Milgrat, " We never lowered the taxes and look at the town now! It's ok, only some bandits were spotted. Besides that everything is alright. If it wasn't for the taxes then there would be no Fort Charles." I agree " said Curnal Thomas, " Those pirates have caused us enough trouble. You should join the navy and learn to accept our rules. " William knew he couldn't convince them by words. So then one day he overheard about some shipping the EITC were doing. So he went up to a crew of pirates. At first they were ready to kill him. But then he told them about the shipping. " We better capture those weapons crew " said the captain. He thanked William for the information and spared him. Now that the weapons never reached Theives Den, William knew that he could attack it and then, the navy secret operations there would be lowered. He found a man with fine clotheing. William went to him and asked for asistance on the mission. The man said " A pirate called Dog Hullbones helped me, and I will help you. I'll find my crew again and we'll raid. " It was a huge crew that the pirate got. The crew broke up when the navy robbed him and some others in the crew. They were now ready for attack.
They were all ready. They first attacked the wildwoods and defeated the cadets there. Then they invaded Theives Den. since the new weapons didn't come, there baynets were dull. There ammo was low too. And EITC thugs had very dull knives. It was an easy victory and all the tax money was recovered. They decided to give it back to the people. Everyone was able to buy more gifts now.
The next day William met a boy, about 15, walking on the streets of Port Royal. He asked him why he was on the streets and not at home. The boy told him his story and then William found a good home for him. The boy was very greatful and went off. Then William wrote a letter to Dog Hullbones. He gave the letter to a pirate named Captain Jim Logan who was one of Dogs friends. William was very happy that he helped a lot a people. But he realized Port Royal wasn't safe anymore. He left and went to Padres Del Fuego and sold weapons to pirates.
Now wasn't that good? I hope all the pirates, and EITC have learned some things about what each side must go through during the holidays. But this story isn't over yet. Who did I mention on top? Oh yeah, Jolly Roger! Now we will see how the undead celebrate the holidays...
The Undead's Side
" Alright men! " said Jolly Roger " It's that time of year again. We will be regrouping like mad for sucessful invasions next year! " The undead cheered. They began regrouping immeadiatly. Then one undead called Ryan Stone was observing some of the pirates activities. He saw them decorating. He asked some other undead why they were decorating. The undead were clueless. " Must be some trudition " siad one of them. The next day Ryan took a break from breeading undead and overheard some pirate. One of them said " i hope the Christmas party at Kings Arm is good. " The other said " Yeah. All this decorating should spread some holiday cheer. I hope the bandits don't vandalize these decorations. " The other one replied " I know what you mean. They have been trying to steal some presents lately." Then they left. Ryan then heard a citizen singing something called Jingle Bells.
Ryan went to report this information to some other undead. He said stuff about decorating and " holiday cheer. " He also talked about giving presents and Jingle Bells. The undead were very fond of Jingle Bells. They sung it while they worked and that filled that one empty spot. The " happy " feeling they never really get doing what they usually do. Then one skeleton gave a gift to snother skeleton which made them both happy. Then one skeleton gave a present to the overseer. The overseer knew that after hearing some singing and receiving a present, the undead would be to distracted and then there wouldn't be enough undead for the invasions. even worse, Jolly Roger would have all of their heads! So the overseer anounced that there is no singing or gift-giving allowed or you would be punished. But the undead were prepared for that.
They started decorationg the graveyards. They got undead from different islands into the christmas spirit. The overseers were getting angry. They said " No ,ore of this sill ' Christmas ' is allowed! " The undead went on strike amd refused to make more of the undead army unless they could celebrate Christmas. Then when Ryan Stone was singing Jingle Bells and got the Christmas Spirit in him. He was so spirited with Christmas that he was no longer a skeleton. He was a regular soul amd was free from Jolly Rogers curse. Then as others got the Christmas spirit they turned into spirits and were free from Jolly Rogers curse. Then all the skeletons on strike were free from Jolly Rogers curse on them and could now celebrate Christmas.
They decided to go to Ravens Cove for Christmas. They got the five friendly ghosts to help celebrate. When night fell the Rage Ghosts were in the christmas spirit and went back to normal. They spread the Chritmas spirit throughtout El patrons Mines and all the ghosts in the mine go in the spirit and celebrated.
They sung Christmas songs and decorated. They played Undead Poker(without any health being taken away) and they decorated Ravens Cove. They took all the skeleton remains out of the island to make it look less scary. Then the next day came. everyone exchanged gifts and were happy.
Except for Jolly Roger and anyone still loyal to him. Yes he still had a big undead army but he was angry. " I'll have my revenge on this Christmas thing and anyone who celebrates it! "
So ye now see all sides of the story. The undead fought for their rights to celebrate Christmas. Taxes didn't effect us this year. And the bandits were stopped! Now we know how good the holidays are . I hope you all enjoy your holidays!